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Before the Game by Robert Griffing

During the American Revolution, the six tribes of the Iroquois Nation maintained a public policy of neutrality. Yet several individual members (my ancestor Joseph Brant included) sided with the British with the hope that tribal sovereignty would be preserved when the British ultimately prevailed. Of course, they didn’t prevail and the rest is history.

When the Treaty of Paris was signed, thereby ending the war, the British and Americans ignored Indian sovereignty and declared all tribal land to be part of America. After the war, the American government rectified this situation and established the bullshit reservation system that has endured to this day.

In short, this isn’t the first time the British and Americans have fucked the Iroquois Nation and it certainly won’t be the last.

What I’m referring to is England’s decision to ignore the guarantee from Hillary Clinton and the American government that would have allowed the Iroquois Nationals Lacrosse team to travel to Manchester and play in an international tournament widely regarded as the Olympics of lacrosse. When I wrote the column for the Long Island Press that appears as a blog entry below, it had been determined at the 11th hour that the team would be able to travel and a crisis had been averted. Naturally this wasn’t the case and the wrong thing happened yet again.

To the team members whose ancestors invented the game of lacrosse, I can only offer the following words.

Fuck ‘em.

I hope you find comfort in this sentiment. Next time the tournament is held, let’s have it at Onondaga and deny the British passports when they reach the border of the reservation.

Percy Abrams from Iroquois Nationals Shows His Passport

Twenty-three men waited five days. For five days they stood ready to do battle on a field for their nation, but were at risk of being denied the right to do so. They are warriors who engage in a time-honored tradition of championship lacrosse, a game that was invented by their ancestors. Ironically they were being stonewalled by the two nations who conspired four centuries ago to beat their people into submission. Just how high and how far did the debate reach? It took Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to wave her magic wand and allow this team to board an airplane with the guarantee they would be allowed to return.

The American solution was, as always, simple. When the British Consulate refused to accept the Iroquois passports without a guarantee the U.S. would let the team actually return after the tournament, the U.S. State Department rushed to their aid and offered U.S. passports to the team members and crew. As usual this is where the breakdown in communication occurs in U.S. and Indian relations. First off, the Iroquois Confederacy is within the geographic territories of both the United States and Canada. Moreover, each tribe within the confederacy is a sovereign nation. Consider them uber-states within America for comparison purposes.

To date the confederacy has been able to cope with the issue of international travel because most countries outside of the U.S. recognize the sovereign status of Indian nations and the informal U.S. policy has thus far been to let sleeping dogs lie. But homeland security and big brother have made the issue of the Haudenosaunee passport more opaque and left U.S. officials with a conundrum.

On the surface it didn’t appear to be such a big deal. But in Indian country, everything comes at a price. If the team had capitulated and agreed to accept U.S. passports to travel abroad they would have established yet another dangerous precedent in U.S./Indian relations. Acquiescing to this solution would essentially have ceded the issue of sovereign recognition on a very significant level. And while it may seem innocuous, I can assure you it is not. Every step closer to acknowledging that tribal lands are nothing more than bizarre extensions of U.S. territory is a step closer to losing the fundamental rights of indigenous nations. This is more than a lacrosse tournament.

For Indians, the State Department’s American passport solution was yet another extreme example of hubris and ignorance.

The tournament itself touts participating nations from around the globe, including the Iroquois Nation. Imagine how insulting it must be to be denied passage on an airplane because some bureaucrat at the airport check-in counter fell asleep in history class and wound up creating an international incident. The Obama administration has paid generous sums of lip service to tribes in the United States yet has proven to be callous and ill-informed in practice. True students of democracy would know that the Haudenosaunee compact that binds the six nations of the Iroquois together was so thoughtful and long-ranging in its conception that it was used as inspiration by our own founding fathers who framed the Constitution.

Of course, none of that matters to the 23 men who will be airborne as these words are being printed on the page. Throughout 400 years of poverty, humiliation and genocide, they have played this game that is as important to their nations as baseball is to America and soccer is to every other country on the planet.

 On the field these warriors are one with their ancestors. Off the field they live in a cold, expendable reality. By the time this paper hits the stands they will have emerged from their international excursion and presented themselves on the field of battle, jetlagged and weary, without the benefit of practice. For today, Indian country can be thankful Mrs. Clinton granted them this one ceremonial leaf of dignity to cover the wound that has remained open and bleeding for too long.

Upon learning of this latest quest, my friend Johnny Gallo immediately understood the anodyne meaning behind it. It was Johnny whose quiet inspiration prompted me to turn my dream of a backyard vegetable garden into a reality by offering encouragement, with a measured degree of sarcasm, and the necessary tools to get started. I have written before of his stoic, old-school character, which explains why he showed up one day with a tamper, trowel, level and well wishes as I began excavating the area that will someday be framed by this wall.  

Johnny instinctively knew my undertaking was, as he referred to it, therapy. It’s why he demurred when our wives implored him to partake in my madness, lest I mutilate myself in the process. He simply said, “Let the man be.”

Part of the insanity that my profession breeds is an incessant preoccupation with how things work, or more often than not, why they don’t. In this instance, constructing a secure and level foundation has my mind drawing the inevitable comparisons to the global economy, which is collapsing under its own weight.

Even my diminutive contribution to our home landscape requires careful planning and assiduous attention to detail, particularly to the foundation. The foundation itself changes slightly, however, with every layer of dirt that is uncovered. Like anything built to be sustainable, it’s what is below the surface that is most important to the future. You cannot plaster over pieces of our infrastructure without properly incorporating or eliminating them altogether. Consider the living—or dying—case study that is Detroit. Public officials there are contemplating, and in some cases already executing, a plan to raze enormous tracts of blighted development with the realization that a barren landscape is perhaps better than a crumbling one.

There is little doubt our current economy must be rebuilt and history may or may not provide the answers and insight we seek. For better or for worse, the financial markets in the post-bailout period are acting as opiates and somehow shifted from being leading to lagging indicators. Bankers and traders are surrounding the hookah and inhaling the smoke being burned by Congress and the Fed, engaging in what my friend Peter Klein from UBS calls “interest rate euphoria.”

In theory, low interest rates encourage lending and, as a result, growth. But our interest rates are so low the banks have been playing the ultimate arbitrage game by taking cheap money from the government and investing it in securities with a higher yield. And despite the decade-long data from Japan, who handled their enduring recession in precisely the same manner without success, we continue to blithely walk the same path. At some point, interest rates must rise and federal dollars must be put to some use other than filling bankers’ coffers.

Nevertheless, the administration is in a no-win position. We will never know whether or not we avoided a total cataclysm in the months following the banking collapse in late 2008. Perhaps we did. It’s hard to argue with the logic that the combination of stimulus dollars and miniscule interest rates staved off a second Great Depression. Even if this is the case, we are simply extending the pain and laying the groundwork for a deep and long-term recession.

Perhaps the most positive sign to come from the White House recently was President Obama’s decision to make a $2 billion investment into two huge solar manufacturers in the United States. Generating this level of interest in micro-renewable technology will put more than just the manufacturing companies to work; it will have a ripple effect to the building trades and ultimately benefit the residential market.

Everywhere, that is, but here on Long Island.

The one gigantic, jagged rock in our foundation that makes it impossible to build anything sustainable and participate in the renewable energy revolution is the debt load that drowns our local utility. Until our federal and state elected officials come to the realization that forward movement is impossible as long as we are hamstrung by the $6 billion albatross that is Shoreham, we are destined to tread water, or worse.

Biotech, pharmaceuticals, medical research and information technology are all sectors of our local economy poised for explosive growth. For years, business leaders and elected officials have been calling for a renaissance in these areas, but have been stymied by the intractable high cost of living. While school taxes receive the majority of our ire, the fact is our primary export is the talented youth we educate on the Island; the trick is to create a job market and economic climate that encourages them to stay. Working on a plan to reduce the Shoreham debt over the next decade will help level the playing field to attract companies to the region and allow LIPA to encourage and finance residential investments into renewable technologies. Perhaps we can dream so far as to close one of our inefficient, belching gas plants on the Island and even imagine the day LIPA is no longer necessary.

Should we continue to ignore this debt on Long Island, our foundation will remain insecure. And while America may indeed succeed in establishing a new foundation and build a new wall we can be proud of, Long Island may find itself on the other side of it.

Nikola Tesla In His Lab

The latest and greatest darling of Wall Street, Tesla Motors, rocketed onto the Nasdaq Exchange under the ticker symbol TSLA in its initial public offering this week. The isolated enthusiasm surrounding this company belies a greater unease that crept back into the markets as investors grow increasingly wary of a global double-dip recession. Tesla’s rise to fame has also had the effect of highlighting the company’s namesake, Nikola Tesla, who endures as one of the most significant influences on science and technology in the modern world. Tesla, an investor in the late 1800s and early 20th century, was the father of technology such as alternating current (AC Power), hydro-electricity, radio signals (sorry, Marconi fans) and the modern engine, among myriad other staggering accomplishments in the field of science.

But Tesla’s resurgence can also be seen as a cautionary tale to those that followed him, the Tesla Motor company included. While Tesla’s achievements are arguably more significant than even his contemporary (and mentor-turned-adversary) Thomas Edison, he rarely receives the recognition he deserves, and has been curiously relegated to footnote status in American education.

Tesla, who was prone to disturbing visions and hallucinations, would be in good company with the delirious investors in Tesla Motors. But Wall Street loves a fun story and glamour wins the day over pragmatism, and thus the era of the $100,000 electric automobile is upon us. Despite the company’s own admission that profits are a distant dream, and an IPO with several government requirements and restrictions, America is at least (momentarily) talking about zero-emission transportation. The blessing and the curse of American ingenuity is we tend to think big. Big inventions sometimes have big repercussions that spawn big solutions with several inevitable repercussions of their own. And the cycle continues.

But if Tesla Motors has Wall Street on its side for now, Tesla the inventor virtually had it in his pocket for a brief period. JP Morgan and George Westinghouse were early supporters of his genius, but it was Morgan who pulled the plug on what may have potentially altered the course of power generation forever. Tesla constructed a tower with Morgan’s backing in Shoreham (how’s that for Kioli?) that, according to Tesla’s laboratory research, would have essentially electrified the earth and used it to conduct power, thereby eliminating the need for power stations and transmission lines. At the 11th hour Morgan shelved the project upon realizing this model for energy would have provided free power. Free anything in Morgan’s world was a bad thing. Herein lay the cautionary portion of the tale about glamorous projects that are supported by Wall Street and the government.

Tesla continued working and lecturing for several years before fading into obscurity and dying penniless and alone in New York City. Not dissimilar to the fate suffered by pre-grunge rock band Tesla, who currently reside in the “where are they now” file. But I digress. The important lesson to be learned is that the vagaries of our national agenda coupled with the powerful counter-interests of oil companies should be enough to temper the enthusiasm of any investor in the electric car market. Add to this a product whose hype centers on its ability to reach a speed of 60 mph in less than four seconds—the auto equivalent of “this one goes to 11” and Tesla redux has the makings of flash in the pan. (Yes, I have now gratuitously referenced Spinal Tap twice in one paragraph. Tesla, the band, inspired this line of thinking.)

The electric car requires a national recharging infrastructure as robust as the network of petroleum filling stations. While there are notable entrepreneurs in this field and a loose patchwork of government subsidies to encourage investment in this arena as well, the movement isn’t even in its infancy; it’s still in utero. Any combination of the oil industry lobbying against it, the government running out of subsidies and a product that is impractical and expensive, and Tesla could very well wind up as the subject of a documentary titled Who Killed The Electr… Hey, wait a minute!

For now, we will ooh and ahh over this bright, shiny new bauble and marvel at the possibilities of zipping silently across the country at 180 mph under clear blue, smog-less skies. Ultimately, clean energy will be accomplished in less sexy ways. Somewhere Jimmy Carter is shaking his head. What would be really weird is if he was rocking out to Tesla on his iPod while doing it.

President Obama in Clinton-esque Form

Short of actually sticking the president into the gushing hole in the Gulf of Mexico, I’m not clear what exactly people expect Obama to do right now. This is a public relations fiasco that is as unprecedented as it is unwinnable and the response to his response has been puzzling to say the least.

Republicans accuse Obama of taking advantage of the spill to push renewable energy and clean technology. Um, OK. Democrats are lining up to accuse Obama of not emoting enough on television. I see. One can only surmise the proper reaction then would be to demand greater dependence upon fossil fuels during a nationally televised address where the president breaks out his hanky and furiously mops his brow while channeling his inner Jimmy Swaggart.
 

That leaves us with the working men and women who rely on the Gulf for their livelihoods. Here again, a PR non-starter. On one side are representatives from the fishing industry lambasting the administration for not holding BP’s feet to the fire in processing claims immediately. On the other is the oil industry—incensed over Obama’s six-month moratorium on off-shore deep-water exploration—claiming the penalty for companies in good standing is too harsh and negatively impacting workers in the industry.

One can only imagine the prevailing sentiment in the Exxon Mobil board room is “there but for the grace of God…”

Ultimately the only issue I have with the president’s handling of the spill is in his characterizing it as the “worst environmental disaster America has ever faced.” This is a hollow proclamation that examines the spill in a vacuum. The worst disaster is our pernicious environmental policy agenda that allows ignominious corporations to reap enormous profits from our insatiable consumerism that is fueled by other less tangible, but wholly calculated corporate misdeeds such as planned obsolescence and the rise of industrial agriculture.

Thirty years ago the IXTOC I well in the Gulf of Mexico exploded and proceeded to pour approximately 140 million gallons of oil into the Gulf. It took eight months to cap the leak. The immediate effects on the fishing industry and wildlife from a spill this size are devastating. However, the long-term effects of an oil spill of this magnitude are reported, even by environmentalists, to be rather benign. That is to say, oil is a natural ingredient of Earth and over time it will break down and return again to its original form. None of this is any consolation in a situation that is as maddening as it is sickening.

In practice, our reckless pursuit of fossil fuels is less sustainable for humans than Earth. The great Chief and Faithkeeper of Onondaga, Oren Lyons, says it best: “Whatever happens to us will not have any impact on the world. In time, the world will regenerate. It will come back green, and the waters will be clean again. It’s just that there won’t be any people here.”

And there it is. Suicide by consumption.

What we require in the interest of self-preservation is leadership that demands investment, not into “bridge fuels” like natural gas exploration and inefficient ocean-based wind turbines, but into a massive micro-level renewable energy plan that can be easily adopted by the states. Renewable energy technology on a micro level is more portable and easily funded than quixotic pursuits of windmills and the folly of “clean” coal and “safe” nuclear power. The effort must begin at the top but be decentralized enough to allow the states to administer a plan to simultaneously curb consumption and reward conservation through economic incentives, thereby sparking a global manufacturing race.

Unfortunately, this agenda is neither sexy nor easily explained, but it can be inspired and effective. Either way, this recipe for environmental and energy independence success is a political recipe for disaster.

Long Island Press Cover Image about Taxing the Indian Cigarette Trade

In a stunning revelation this week, the federal government has concluded the Shinnecock Indians are indeed Indians. The lightning pace at which they arrived at this determination can only mean we are days away from declaring independence from British rule and uniting the colonies!

This is not another column longing for the day when the United States comes to the realization federal recognition is a bogus, unilateral stamp of approval for a gaming license and has nothing to do with the qualifications of a group’s “Indianness.” It’s as ludicrous as it is insulting. It cannot, however, match the absurdly racist and discriminatory report authored by State Sen. Craig Johnson (D-Port Washington) and released the same week as the Shinnecock Nation celebrates the farcical honor of being told they actually exist.

The report issued by Johnson’s committee is the result of several months of testimony and supposed research into the issue of tax collection on Indian reservation territories within New York State. The fact the committee chose the one week everyone knew the Shinnecock Nation was to achieve, at the very least, a moral victory and celebrate its federal recognition offers keen insight into the scandalously insensitive nature of these lawmakers. While New York State is hamstrung by infighting and ineptitude and barely staving off a historic shutdown, this committee issues a report so rife with inconsistencies and backward logic that it could have taken minutes, not months, to produce.

The only thing that is clear is this speciously crafted report, replete with one-sided arguments, is intended to obfuscate the fact that The Empire State is the primary culprit in squandering enormous sums of potential revenue from cigarette taxes. By affixing his name to this report, Johnson is less of a patsy in this regard than he is a “cleaner”—much like Harvey Keitel’s “Wolf” character in Pulp Fiction, here brought in to clean up Albany’s mess.

Much of the text in the report is written in a decidedly patronizing tone that attempts to assuage the ultimate message to Indian tribes of New York: Pay up or face the consequences. The committee rationalizes this stance by ignoring the numbers given by its own tax department and instead recognizing the more advantageous figures given by people who stand to gain from legislation that would negatively impact the tribes. The testimony of the tribes was an exercise in futility as it is glaringly apparent this committee and the “powers that be” in Albany are determined to continue their centuries-old mission to ethnically cleanse Indians from New York through economic warfare.

Unfortunately, none of this is a surprise. What is utterly disheartening was the conclusion of the 20-page report. The final line of the report simply states: “The State should revoke its recognition of the Poospatuck Tribe.”

First of all, the tribe is Unkechaug. The reservation is Poospatuck. Second, not only is there no legal precedent for this ridiculous recommendation, there have been numerous opinions written by New York State itself declaring this idea (not the first attempt at this) unconstitutional.

This recommendation can only be classified in the following categories:

A)      Stupid
B)      Ignorant
C)      Racist
D)     All of the above

For those of you keeping score at home, the correct answer is “D.” Attempting to revoke the status of a nation that predates our own and eradicate an entire race is the type of Machtpolitik that should evoke terror in our society. We should bristle at this type of caustic political language that stokes the fire of hatred and intolerance. Instead, the headlines referring to Indians on Long Island revolve around speculation regarding the location of a Shinnecock casino now that the tribe is federally recognized.

Recently, veteran White House correspondent Helen Thomas made a similar remark recommending all Jews leave Palestine and return home to Germany, Poland, the United States, and “everywhere else.” Helen Thomas, at least, had the good sense to hang up her cleats after allowing us to peer into her cold, black soul. Hers was an epic lapse in judgment caught on video by a citizen journalist that went viral. Conversely, the recommendation Poospatuck be obliterated was carefully considered over a period of months and delivered as the kicker in an official government report. There is no apology that can mitigate what was written and every person on this committee has been revealed for what they truly are: bigots. Unlike Helen Thomas, however, I doubt any of them will have the decency to retire.

The Long Island Press Cover Image of Cablevision Ripping Apart Newsday

Any business is tough. To persevere in this economy, it takes great fortitude to move the proverbial needle and grow. As such, I will periodically indulge a cold call from a salesperson, particularly if he or she represents a Long Island-based company. It’s the “kioli” thing to do, after all. Recently I received a solicitation from Cablevision to join the Optimum business service plan from an earnest salesman eager to learn whether our company would be interested in their offer. We were, indeed.

The call began with the normal platitudes one would expect from a scripted pitch. The caller identified himself as a representative from the Optimum business calling service and inquired as to whether he was speaking with the person in charge of making telephone decisions. He was. He asked if I was familiar with Optimum and would be interested in hearing about an exciting new business offer. I was.

He was delighted.

He proceeded to tell me the good people at Optimum were offering 40-to-50 percent introductory discounts to join the Optimum network. Now I was delighted! My euphoria was fleeting, however, when he discovered that I was already an Optimum customer, at which point he graciously thanked me and attempted to end the call.

Not so fast, mister.

“Where are you going?” I innocently inquired.

“The offer is only good for new customers switching from services like Verizon,” he offered flatly and again bid me a good day.

“That hardly seems fair,” I protested futilely.

“I’m sorry, sir. Thank you for choosing Optimum and have a good day.”

It was all downhill from here.

“Your method seems punitive to those who support you,” I shot back.

He seemed nonplussed by my incredulity. “Pardon me, sir?”

“It’s just that I have never understood that strategy. Offer everything to someone who has given you nothing at the cost of those who have already supported you. It’s like giving away Knicks tickets to bring more people to the Garden and charging season ticket holders more to cover the cost.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying, sir.”

“I figured that would make sense since you own the Knicks as well. Are you a fan?”

“Sir, I’m having trouble hearing you.”

“OK, I take it you’re not a fan of the… Wait. Did you say you’re having trouble hearing me?”

“I’m sorry, hello?”

“Are you on the Optimum service?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you’re having trouble hearing me?”

“What?”

“So you’re calling me about a discount I can’t have on a service that doesn’t seem to work all that well and you’re not a Knicks fan?”

“Thank you for choosing Optimum, sir. Have a good day.”

Incredible. Perhaps I have spent too much time on this page with Mr. Della Femina, but outsourcing sales calls and customer service abroad is the worst kind of profligate corporate behavior being propagated in board rooms throughout the nation. While I understand the economic concept behind the foreign-based call center, you cannot reasonably expect someone from Bangalore to understand the mind of a Long Island business owner. Hell, you can’t expect someone from Akron to understand us. The reason someone from Long Island appears on nearly every reality TV program is that we’re—how should I say it?—special. Different. Unique little snowflakes who expect more than a $2 an hour employee from another country with a standardized script and zero understanding of important cultural reference points like My Father’s Place and Bobby Nystrom.

Lest I throw too many stones in this glass house, a friend recently reminded me the Long Island Press is printed by—outsourced to—a company in a far off land—New Jersey. Alas, it is the truth. However, there is only one company on Long Island with presses designed to handle a newspaper of our size. Unfortunately, it too is owned by the company that owns the Knicks. Perhaps I should endeavor to reach out to my new friend and see if the 40-to-50 percent discount applies to printing as well. If only the phone service wasn’t so spotty.

The Long Island Press "Best of LI" Cover

This is the season when the Island hits its stride. Good weather awakens the senses and reminds us why we live here.  Wait, why exactly do we live here again? The taxes, the traffic, suburban sprawl, the insanity of it all! Why on Earth would anyone choose to stay here, let alone move here?

Because we’re the best. Just ask us. It’s just a matter of perspective.

Last night the Press hosted an evening in honor of the 50 most influential Long Islanders—all of whom were featured in last week’s annual Power List edition. Our “Power Parties” have always been interesting affairs because the individuals who comprise the list are themselves interesting. But last night one star shone more brightly than all the others in the room: Long Island.

One significant reason for this was the setting, yet another reminder of how fortunate we are to live here. The Nassau County Museum of Art in Roslyn opened its doors to more than 300 attendees, some of whom were amazed at just how incredible the grounds, and the museum itself, truly are. The common thread among the people and the conversation in the room was Long Island and, more importantly, making it better.

One of the modern writers and theorists I admire most is a surly individual named James Howard Kunstler, a resident of Saratoga Springs, NY, and author of doomsday-scenario books on peak oil and the fall of suburbia. I had the opportunity to interview Kunstler a couple of years ago and was the recipient of several golden quotes that fall from his tongue like bombs through the bay doors. But the only one that rendered me shell-shocked was his opinion that Long Island was “essentially screwed.” His theory was that our car culture, suburban sprawl and fossil fuel-based infrastructure would prove both environmentally and economically unsustainable in years to come. While not a wholehearted disciple of his suburbia-is-dead message, I tend to agree with most of the principles he espouses.
But last night, with so many of Long Island’s leaders and educators exchanging ideas, it occurred to me that the concept of failure depends upon ones definition of success. Perhaps we should re-examine the Long Island equation instead of attempting to change the figures.

Traffic is awful on Long Island. Or is it? Contemplating the alternative is devastating. Across the country, store owners sit around and dream of ways to increase traffic into their stores. The American economy is pinned directly to the success of the consumer. Conclusion: Traffic is awesome on Long Island.

Taxes are too high on Long Island. Or are they? Nearly every state in the nation is fighting for federal education funding and every administration in recent memory has made education a top funding and legislative priority. Finding the money for education is a problem nearly everywhere except… wait for it, wait for it…right here! Conclusion: Long Island reinvests heavily in our children by allocating a significant portion of our taxes to education.

Suburban sprawl fractures the community and feeds our dependence on the automobile. OK, you got me there. Having said that, I lived in Manhattan for seven years and spent the vast majority of my time in the same place everyone else in Manhattan spends their time—in a four-block radius around my apartment. Vertical living, horizontal living. It really doesn’t matter. When a friend or neighbor in the city moves more than 10 blocks away they might as well move to Spokane. On the Island, however, once you commit to getting in your car, one’s friendship radius extends from 10 blocks to 10 miles. Conclusion: Long Islanders with cars make better friends.

The lesson gained is, the things we complain about the most are not only of our own creation, they’re not going anywhere. What we are sorely lacking is a proper marketing campaign that encourages more companies to move here to maintain our tax base. That way, more people can live it up with us in terrible traffic, enjoy the exciting educational benefits of high taxes, and stretch out in our sprawling neighborhoods. But first let me leave you with food for thought this wonderful Memorial Day weekend.

The spring edition of Good Magazine features an interview with renowned author and urban theorist Richard Florida who says that beyond the obvious criteria of “a low crime rate and great schools and good jobs” the most important quality of life items to Americans are “a community that treats all of its residents fairly—ethnic minorities, new immigrants, low income people…” and “aesthetic character” such as trees and open space. The latter is something we have. The former needs work. But guess what? Treating people fairly seems a lot easier than easing traffic, lowering taxes and eliminating suburban sprawl. Not that we need to.

The LIA lacks a sense of purpose. While its board is comprised of an impressive array of successful business leaders, it has failed to coalesce in a decisive manner and make inroads on any specific issue. The most noticeable handicap in this respect is an unwieldy board size—there are 57 members. The Island’s biggest organization is top-heavy. This has created a problem of perception in that no one really knows what the LIA stands for. It’s time to hunker down and get tight on a handful of specific items instead of attempting to plug every hole in the dam.

Kevin Law, outgoing president and CEO of LIPA, is the new head of the LIA. But will he take the organization in the direction it needs to go?

Evidence of the LIA’s inability to marshal its resources in support of, or opposition to, a particular issue is in its governance structure. There are 16 separate committees ranging from small business to world trade, insurance to homeland defense and everywhere in between. No one organization can adequately micromanage this many priorities. Because Long Island is, by design, a sprawling set of disparate communities—each with its own gravitational center and culture—it’s nearly impossible to manage any one-size-fits-all plan.

Therefore the most immediate and effective declaration Kevin Law can make when officially taking the helm is to plant his flag squarely on the subject of economic development. Workforce housing hard to find? Brain drain getting you down? Tired of high taxes? There’s only one answer to all the issues the LIA has been dancing around: Money. The only way to get more of it into the economy is to attract more high-paying job opportunities into the region and create an environment where companies aren’t punished when they grow.

The art of messaging is critical when running an organization with the breadth and scope of the LIA. If Law can stay on message and focus on spreading the gospel of economic development, he will conquer the first difficult task of establishing a singular perception of the LIA. It’s a lot easier to negotiate with those who control the purse strings when they know why you’re there and what you’re asking for. This raises the next obvious question: What are we asking for?

I’ll keep it simple.

The LIA has been so focused on raising funds by hosting rubber-chicken dinners with generals and ex-presidents to cover for its own financial issues, it can’t focus on ours. Have one gala and a golf tournament if you need to get it out of your system then spread the wealth by getting more companies to pay dues. If you need extra funds, get them from the Regional Planning Commission—they’re not doing anything anyway.

Once the LIA’s bills are paid, Law can develop a comprehensive plan to deal with the two things we cannot escape: taxes and utilities.

Regarding the former: The only way to reduce, or at the very least hold, taxes on the Island is to woo more companies to do business here. This means coordinating the efforts of every agency with the ability to offer economic incentives and developing a press kit for Long Island. The Canon deal provided the blueprint. With Long Island’s press kit in hand, Kevin Law should be on the road six months out of the year visiting every burgeoning technology company in America with an iota of potential. I’m confident he can out-sell the guy from Bergen County, NJ or Lancaster, PA and convince some cool companies to come here. (Kev, call me. I know a great relocation specialist.)

On utilities: It’s payback time. The government rammed Shoreham down our throats then figured out we didn’t want it. Worse yet, they stuck us with the tab. Our utility bills will never go down with a $6 billion debt load we can’t shake. Therefore, I propose that every elected official on the Island sit down with Chuck Schumer and demand that the federal government commit $600 million per year for the next 10 years to principal debt reduction. In turn, we will agree to hold LIPA rates flat for the same period. The resulting positive spread will be reserved for retrofitting commercial and residential properties with renewable technology through LIPA’s existing rebate program. By 2020 the debt will be eradicated, our utility costs will be dramatically lower and then we can fold LIPA and get rid of a couple of power plants.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Now, on to that peace in the Middle East issue. It’s been on my to-do list for ages.